(no subject)

[caithream]

I got my letter from UCF today.

I didn't get in.

Because of fucking "state budget cuts" and reducing enrollments, that's why.

Here's the thing. I've been fantasizing about moving and doing this every single damn day since I got the invitation to live over there. I feel like I'm stuck in a fucking rut, my once really good friends are now off doing God knows what with each other, I'm LONELY as fuck, and I don't even feel like I'm LIVING. I want this so damn bad, and that was like fucking slap in the face, opening up that letter.

I'm not giving up, not yet. Firstly, they haven't even SEEN my huge transcript from USF, as I put a hold on it until after the grades for this semester are finally submitted. I'll be a TRANSFERRING SENIOR, not a fucking freshman just jumping in to the Florida accredited college system. I'm going to call the offices on Monday and grill them, 'cause why the fuck would you accept or decline a transferring student without even looking at the GRADES? Or maybe that's just my own dumb fault for sending it too early. I don't know. And if that doesn't work... I don't know. I just don't fucking know.

I mentally and physically cannot do this 60+ mile drive every single day back and forth from USF anymore. Can. Not. Do it. I'll blow my brains out before I go through my whole senior year doing it again. I want to move whether or not I get accepted into UCF, I guess I'd just... I don't even know. Not do my fall semester and then apply again for the spring sememster, finish up classes during the summer semester? And that royally fucks up everything, I mean, I guess it's not THAT big of a deal to graduate out of the time frame of everyone else, and I was planning on taking a year off of school after I graduate, so. I don't know. You just, you have everything planned out in your head and then suddenly that disappears. I know, I know, life is unexpected, blah blah, but God, my heart is aching to do this. I just don't know.

Now I've got to calm myself down and stop crying before I head off to work, augh.

Comments

[giventofly37.livejournal.com]

Oh honey.

It'll all work out in the end, I know it. Hang in there, okay? ♥

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I hope it will, I just kinda went into serious panic mode there for a while, sigh. Thank you, babe. ♥

[comically-so.livejournal.com]

D: I'm so sorry, hun!

*hugs*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you, darling. I really hope I can work all this out. *Frets*

I'm so sorry

[lady-vader67.livejournal.com]

Oh honey, you still rock! and I'm pissed at your school and I wish I could get you transporter where you could just beam in and out...

come visit the West (hint) :)

take care and sometimes it seems all is dark and its ok to whine b/c gosh knows I whined about the jared thing at Eyecon :) but in the end, there is always a light. It will work out somehow, and I know I mixed alot of cliches in there but I'm old so...

ps I'm so tired and I have post con blues, again *sigh*

I miss ya'll terribly

(hugs)

Re: I'm so sorry

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Oh, I will SO take you up on that offer, so watch out! Thank you, darling, I really hope this works out because I've been thinking about it forever, it seems, and yeah, the post con blues certainly aren't helping matters either. :( ♥♥

[lfg1986.livejournal.com]

Oh hon, I don't even know what to say. I feel like "that sucks" doesn't even come close to describing it. I'll definitely be keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything works out in the end. *HUGE HUGS*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you, babe, I hope so too. :( <333

[magikalrhiannon.livejournal.com]

oh man. *HUGS* babe i'm so sorry. you give them hell and find out why they didn't even wait to look at your grades first. bastards.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I don't even GET that. Augh. Thank you, babe. ♥♥

[mrscutedean.livejournal.com]

Oh my darling, to say that sucks would be the understatement of the century. You're right not to give up though, prove the fuckers wrong's what I say.

As shitty and as corny as it may sound everything will work out in the end. That's how I look at crappy events, but this one'll turn around, don't give up on it and keep your chin up. You have so much strength you've probably no idea you even have.

Massive hugs tonight x o x

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Oh babe. ♥♥♥ I've been trying to keep my mind on that thought, as difficult as it is. *Clings*

[forgotten-pixie.livejournal.com]

Ohh, hun, I'm so sorry. Stupid budget cuts. I really hope it will work out for you *hugs*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you, babe, I certainly hope so too. :( <33

[stephanometra.livejournal.com]

Baby. :(

*hugs tight*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

*Clings tight* :((

[quidditchkiss.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. Like, WHAT THE HELL? It's like they declined without even looking at anything you brought to the table when applying. AUGH! I'm just so sorry. *big hugs*

I hope you get something figured out! ♥

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I know! I just, I can't even understand that! I really hope I can sort all this out, 'cause that's just ridiculous. :( <33

[spazzbot.livejournal.com]

aw, sweetie that is not cool at all. *hugs*

I can really empathize with looking forward to your life going a certain direction and then something crappy happening to make it not work out, and god, it is not fun. But like everyone else has said: it will work out in the end.

I can't understand how a college can not accept you without even looking at your transcript, because that's just bullshit. I really really hope that it will work out for you.

I admire you for not giving up -- and even if you don't get in? Don't give up on doing what you want to do. If you're unhappy where you are (and you obviously are) it's okay to want to change that, and to do what you need to do.

I wish I had actual helpful things to say, just, lots of hugs and good thoughts from me, okay? <33333

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, darling. And yeah, I definitely called BS on that one, I mean, are they really so pressed for space that they can't even check someone's transcripts? That really makes no sense. :(( *Clings tight*

[mousewings.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry.

I can't believe they didn't even look at your grades.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you, babe. I know! That just doesn't make sense to me at all. :\

[hansbekhart.livejournal.com]

**hugs you** You're awesome and I wish you all the best when you talk to the college tomorrow. I'm sure things will work out.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you, babe. I was kinda sent into panic mode earlier, but I'm really hoping I can work something out all the same, sigh. <333

[flusteredspeech.livejournal.com]

NO, HONEY, WHAT.

Definitely call and get the skinny; let them know how much you want to go to their school! I can't believe they'd just pitch you without looking at your merits. I know how frustrated you are with where you're at now, and I hope so bad that it all gets sorted out right. If not, come go to my school, I'll get you all the best professors. <33333

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Oh babe, I'm just, I'm so unhappy and I hate to be so because I love my family so much but I just don't know what else to do. I just want to know if this is the right thing to do, and this letter kind of... didn't do much for me in the way of that. :((( *Clings*

[skygazing.livejournal.com]

:( I'm so sorry they didn't accept you :( I hope calling them helps and you'll be able to work something out!!

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Gah, I hope so too, babe, thank you. <333

[distantechoes.livejournal.com]

My heart just sunk for you! Can't life get anything right??
You're right to not give up, and I hope you can get answers from UCF Monday (even if it's a little like pulling teeth). If you need me to go down to the offices in person for any reason, let me know! I'll kick them!!

I can totally understand the panic, but I hope you don't worry too hard about it all. I would still LOVE for you to move in with us, regardless of whether or not you get in to the Fall semester. I know life occasionally throws a huge wrench in plans, but if you can't smooth these current plans out, I'm sure you'll make new ones just as great!! Get a hold of me if you need me! ♥

(As a completely selfish and horrible aside: do you have SPN season 3 that I can gank? I'll probably be finishing season 2 tonight.)

[caithream.livejournal.com]

*Clings to you so hard*

Oh babe, believe me, I so very desperately want to move anyway, if you'll still have me. I've settled a bit more in the worrying department, because even if I can't get in this semester I guess I could just fart around for the fall semester, or even apply to Valencia just for that semester? Bottom line, I'll still be with YOU GUYS, and that's what counts. :D ♥♥♥

(Most def! Is a download community okay? I have to vouch for you, if so, so if you see a random community friend you, that's them, heee.)

[stargazertook.livejournal.com]

Aw, babe! Yeah, definitely call, it couldn't hurt. And if they knew it was you, omg they'd be stupid to not accept you!

*big hugs*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I most definitely will, 'cause I'm just flabbergasted beyond BELIEF, ugh. Thank you so much, babe. <333

[giftedstudent.livejournal.com]

I think it's wise to call them. At worst, they can tell you to reapply. They can't stop you from reapplying as many times as you want, especially if you send them official transcripts.

Have you thought about maybe trying Valencia for a semester if you really wanna be in Orlando? If you had any core classes you had left to take, that would be a perfect place to do it because it's relatively cheap and it's right there. And you could try transferring to UCF for spring?

You just, you have everything planned out in your head and then suddenly that disappears.
I won't coddle you, but I totally know what you mean. Even if life happens and you can't control it, it doesn't mean it doesn't suck less when life kinks the carefully made up plan. Good luck getting UCF to rehash your crap!

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if they get all crotchety when I call them, I could always reapply after my offical transcript is all set in stone. And no, I haven't! I've vaguely heard of the school... I could even finally finish up my gen eds there, maybe? It's a thought!

Most definitely. I've been trying to step back and reevaluate this whole situation instead of being completely devastated, so that's a step, heh. Thank you so much for your help, babe. ♥

[muse-polyhymnia.livejournal.com]

Oh honey. I agree with everyone else, it's definitely worth calling them to find out why they rejected you - it seems a little ridiculous that they rejected you without looking at your transcript, and very unfair unless they just decided on a blanket rejection of all transferring students.

*hugs*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Very much so, and I can't believe they'd be THAT pressed for space, good Lord. Thanks so much, darling. <333

[adesso.livejournal.com]

WHAT NO I WILL KILL THEIR STUPID FACES.


If I don't get to have you as a roommate I will cry for a whole year. :(((

Try not to feel so bad. Even if you do have to skip a semester, just think of it as a nice long break from all the essays. ALSO ILU VERY MUCH AND YOU ARE AMAZING AND UCF DOESN'T DESERVE YOU. ♥♥♥

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I would LOVE to still be your roomie, even if I don't get into UCF, if you'll still have me! Omg a break WOULD be kind of fantastic, even if I'm so close to the finish line, haha. ILU TOO MUCH FOR WORDS, BABE. <3333

[random-serious.livejournal.com]

I got my letter from UCF today.

I didn't get in.

I'm so so sorry. I am. The whole situation sounds horrible, and stressing, and... It really sounds more like waiting than living.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

It really sounds more like waiting than living.

This is exactly how I've been feeling for close to a year now, and probably why the letter was so devastating. I'm still trying to be optimistic about it, though, 'cause a semester of would be kinda nice... :) <333

[marishna.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Sarah. I know how hard school's been on you. If it means you being happier and not losing your mind over things, take a semester off if you have to. It's strange how things never seem to work out the way you plan and yet, at the end of the twisting road good things DO come out of it. If you can't get it through their thick skulls with a couple more tries at least you have some options.

*smooshes you*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

*Clings madly* Yeah, I've been trying to be optimistic about it, 'cause who knows if it was just meant to be, or whatever. Thank you so much, babe, I mean it. ♥♥♥

[nefer-tari.livejournal.com]

Meh, I am so sorry for you. I'm going through something similar right now where I've decided I really really want to go studying abroad because I am just *sick* of where I am now, and if these plans don't work out in some way I seriously wouldn't know what to do with myself.

It's like you've finally figured out something that makes sense for you and where you want to go in your future life, a decision that seems so small to others like the UCF committee but means something so much bigger for you. And they didn't even look at your grades and gave you a bullshit reason for denying you! How very frustrating.

I really hope this works out for you, don't give up just yet. And good luck with calling the offices tomorrow, give them hell!

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Gah, yes, exactly, you've hit the nail on the head. I never thought that this would be a problem, but there you have it. Good luck with your travels, too, I think we're both gonna need it. <3333

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, darling, that really does mean a lot! ♥♥

[amchara.livejournal.com]

Wow, that... doesn't make sense. They don't want to let you, even when you're a senior? Hopefully when you talk to them they'll see the light-- but in the meantime, try not to worry too much. It'll all work out in the end. *hugs*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I have no idea! I mean, there's a section on the application that asks you what year/semester you'll be entering, so they KNEW I'd be a senior, and yet.... I don't even know. Thank you so much, babe, I certainly hope it will. <33

[orange74.livejournal.com]

I have my finger crossed for you. Good luck with the talk with the school. That totally makes no sense at all.

:::hugs:::

There is always school in Boston ::smirks:::

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Thank you, darling, and OH, Boston, how badly have I always wanted to go up there! <33