(no subject)

[caithream]

I got my letter from UCF today.

I didn't get in.

Because of fucking "state budget cuts" and reducing enrollments, that's why.

Here's the thing. I've been fantasizing about moving and doing this every single damn day since I got the invitation to live over there. I feel like I'm stuck in a fucking rut, my once really good friends are now off doing God knows what with each other, I'm LONELY as fuck, and I don't even feel like I'm LIVING. I want this so damn bad, and that was like fucking slap in the face, opening up that letter.

I'm not giving up, not yet. Firstly, they haven't even SEEN my huge transcript from USF, as I put a hold on it until after the grades for this semester are finally submitted. I'll be a TRANSFERRING SENIOR, not a fucking freshman just jumping in to the Florida accredited college system. I'm going to call the offices on Monday and grill them, 'cause why the fuck would you accept or decline a transferring student without even looking at the GRADES? Or maybe that's just my own dumb fault for sending it too early. I don't know. And if that doesn't work... I don't know. I just don't fucking know.

I mentally and physically cannot do this 60+ mile drive every single day back and forth from USF anymore. Can. Not. Do it. I'll blow my brains out before I go through my whole senior year doing it again. I want to move whether or not I get accepted into UCF, I guess I'd just... I don't even know. Not do my fall semester and then apply again for the spring sememster, finish up classes during the summer semester? And that royally fucks up everything, I mean, I guess it's not THAT big of a deal to graduate out of the time frame of everyone else, and I was planning on taking a year off of school after I graduate, so. I don't know. You just, you have everything planned out in your head and then suddenly that disappears. I know, I know, life is unexpected, blah blah, but God, my heart is aching to do this. I just don't know.

Now I've got to calm myself down and stop crying before I head off to work, augh.

Comments

[la-victorienne.livejournal.com]

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.

whether you're relating drunken con antics or just feeling shitty about the world, i love you so much my heart bursts with it.

so, you know, i'm thinkin' of you.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Omg, babe, I do not DESERVE your love, but I thank you for it all the same, eep. <33333

[hellogloworm.livejournal.com]

wow... that really fucking sucks.

i really hope that when they get your transcripts and you bitch them out things will change. it's not fair that because of budgets cuts they're denying students. this is like the worst thing the state could cut out of the budget.

but anyway, i love you!

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I know! You're really going to cut education? Really? I really hope this works out too, blah. <333

[idril-telrunya.livejournal.com]

Hiya honey. Yeah I am late with posting back because I am lame. And work is lame. And apparently UCF is lame. I would totally call and be calm and collected and just ask for verification. You never know. It might have been an accident or something else. And I really do believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe you aren't supposed to go there. Maybe you are supposed to take a semester off. Maybe you are supposed to move somewhere else and finish school there. Maybe you are supposed to go to North Carolina now? Or UTAH! Or Montana. Or anywhere. This didn't take away options. It gave you more. Just think about it like that. *hugs* You know I love you and any school would be lucky to have you as a student. <33333

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I love you so much, you know that? And omg I cannot even TELL YOU how badly I want to move out west right now, ughhfhalskd. SOON, VERY SOON. <33333

[berreh.livejournal.com]

Oh, babe. These budget cuts are hurting so many people. It's a shitty system and priorities are in the wrong place and it just sucks all around. I hope they work something out for you. ♥

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I just don't understand it, out of all the things to cut. I hope so too, and thank you so much, babe. <3333