(no subject)
Apr. 12th, 2008 04:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caithreamI got my letter from UCF today.
I didn't get in.
Because of fucking "state budget cuts" and reducing enrollments, that's why.
Here's the thing. I've been fantasizing about moving and doing this every single damn day since I got the invitation to live over there. I feel like I'm stuck in a fucking rut, my once really good friends are now off doing God knows what with each other, I'm LONELY as fuck, and I don't even feel like I'm LIVING. I want this so damn bad, and that was like fucking slap in the face, opening up that letter.
I'm not giving up, not yet. Firstly, they haven't even SEEN my huge transcript from USF, as I put a hold on it until after the grades for this semester are finally submitted. I'll be a TRANSFERRING SENIOR, not a fucking freshman just jumping in to the Florida accredited college system. I'm going to call the offices on Monday and grill them, 'cause why the fuck would you accept or decline a transferring student without even looking at the GRADES? Or maybe that's just my own dumb fault for sending it too early. I don't know. And if that doesn't work... I don't know. I just don't fucking know.
I mentally and physically cannot do this 60+ mile drive every single day back and forth from USF anymore. Can. Not. Do it. I'll blow my brains out before I go through my whole senior year doing it again. I want to move whether or not I get accepted into UCF, I guess I'd just... I don't even know. Not do my fall semester and then apply again for the spring sememster, finish up classes during the summer semester? And that royally fucks up everything, I mean, I guess it's not THAT big of a deal to graduate out of the time frame of everyone else, and I was planning on taking a year off of school after I graduate, so. I don't know. You just, you have everything planned out in your head and then suddenly that disappears. I know, I know, life is unexpected, blah blah, but God, my heart is aching to do this. I just don't know.
Now I've got to calm myself down and stop crying before I head off to work, augh.
I didn't get in.
Because of fucking "state budget cuts" and reducing enrollments, that's why.
Here's the thing. I've been fantasizing about moving and doing this every single damn day since I got the invitation to live over there. I feel like I'm stuck in a fucking rut, my once really good friends are now off doing God knows what with each other, I'm LONELY as fuck, and I don't even feel like I'm LIVING. I want this so damn bad, and that was like fucking slap in the face, opening up that letter.
I'm not giving up, not yet. Firstly, they haven't even SEEN my huge transcript from USF, as I put a hold on it until after the grades for this semester are finally submitted. I'll be a TRANSFERRING SENIOR, not a fucking freshman just jumping in to the Florida accredited college system. I'm going to call the offices on Monday and grill them, 'cause why the fuck would you accept or decline a transferring student without even looking at the GRADES? Or maybe that's just my own dumb fault for sending it too early. I don't know. And if that doesn't work... I don't know. I just don't fucking know.
I mentally and physically cannot do this 60+ mile drive every single day back and forth from USF anymore. Can. Not. Do it. I'll blow my brains out before I go through my whole senior year doing it again. I want to move whether or not I get accepted into UCF, I guess I'd just... I don't even know. Not do my fall semester and then apply again for the spring sememster, finish up classes during the summer semester? And that royally fucks up everything, I mean, I guess it's not THAT big of a deal to graduate out of the time frame of everyone else, and I was planning on taking a year off of school after I graduate, so. I don't know. You just, you have everything planned out in your head and then suddenly that disappears. I know, I know, life is unexpected, blah blah, but God, my heart is aching to do this. I just don't know.
Now I've got to calm myself down and stop crying before I head off to work, augh.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-04-12 09:19 pm (UTC)It'll all work out in the end, I know it. Hang in there, okay? ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-04-12 09:32 pm (UTC)*hugs*
I'm so sorry
Date: 2008-04-12 10:00 pm (UTC)come visit the West (hint) :)
take care and sometimes it seems all is dark and its ok to whine b/c gosh knows I whined about the jared thing at Eyecon :) but in the end, there is always a light. It will work out somehow, and I know I mixed alot of cliches in there but I'm old so...
ps I'm so tired and I have post con blues, again *sigh*
I miss ya'll terribly
(hugs)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-12 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-12 11:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-12 11:12 pm (UTC)As shitty and as corny as it may sound everything will work out in the end. That's how I look at crappy events, but this one'll turn around, don't give up on it and keep your chin up. You have so much strength you've probably no idea you even have.
Massive hugs tonight x o x
no subject
Date: 2008-04-12 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 12:19 am (UTC)*hugs tight*
no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 12:28 am (UTC)I hope you get something figured out! ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 03:38 am (UTC)I can really empathize with looking forward to your life going a certain direction and then something crappy happening to make it not work out, and god, it is not fun. But like everyone else has said: it will work out in the end.
I can't understand how a college can not accept you without even looking at your transcript, because that's just bullshit. I really really hope that it will work out for you.
I admire you for not giving up -- and even if you don't get in? Don't give up on doing what you want to do. If you're unhappy where you are (and you obviously are) it's okay to want to change that, and to do what you need to do.
I wish I had actual helpful things to say, just, lots of hugs and good thoughts from me, okay? <33333
no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:05 am (UTC)I can't believe they didn't even look at your grades.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:41 am (UTC)Re: I'm so sorry
Date: 2008-04-13 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:52 am (UTC)Definitely call and get the skinny; let them know how much you want to go to their school! I can't believe they'd just pitch you without looking at your merits. I know how frustrated you are with where you're at now, and I hope so bad that it all gets sorted out right. If not, come go to my school, I'll get you all the best professors. <33333
no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 04:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 05:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-13 05:09 am (UTC)