Sera Gamble is my fucking hero.

[caithream]

I can't do this.

I can't fucking have this much love and this much pain and and this much because my fucking heart cannot take this show. I can't. I can't love something this much, but I do. So much pain and sacrifice and loss and bone-aching love, culminated over the centuries in all sorts of literature and media, but this. fucking. show. I have no words to properly describe why and how, so I won't, and instead just keep on bawling and moaning and wishing like fuck I could at least have someone with me who gets it.

I don't know where to begin, except maybe at the end, but I really feel only capable of "Sam," and "Dean," and "boys," only made forty billion times worse by the speech Dean made at the end of WIAWSNB, "we've lost so much" and Sam isn't a loss, it's a fucking death blow. Dean's hands. Dean's hands running through Sam's hair, fisting his jacket, cupping Sam's face and telling him it's gonna be okay, I'm gonna take care of you. Protector, even unto death. It hurts so bad I don't even know what to do. That scream at the end, the last ditch effort to hold on and deny. I just. Fucking broke.

Logically, Sam's gonna be okay. I know this. I just don't... know it. I don't know how, but hoping hoping HOPING that Dean's amulet is going to be explained through all this. Again, I don't know how. But. But! I have some interesting ideas.

And the promo for next week. Just. Broke me all over again. Dean has nothing now, if Sam is dead, he'll give up and not care one single bit, "The world's gonna end," "THEN LET IT," I just. I can't deal with this right now. A week is going to seem like forever, and yet, it won't. I really think I might need my whole summer to get over this.

Someone suggested the theory that Dean makes a deal with the YED for Sam.

Oh Jesus.

He would. That's the big ass problem. He would sacrifice his soul, if he could. DEAN.

God. What else. The ROADHOUSE. I burst into tears. ASH. NO. NOOOOOOO. WHY. He CAN'T. I REFUSE. And he had information! ;LJA;LKJG;AOWI4J;AOJDGP34IHAWJ. I BET YOU ANYTHING it was about Stull. The cemetary seen in the promo. AUUGHHH.

MARY KNEW. MARY. KNEW. I DON'T. I CAN'T. WHAT. SAM. DEMON BLOOD. HOLY CRAP. I CANNOT EVEN CORRECTLY PROCESS THIS.

gahw2h;oiwgh;ojf;kaj WHAT did the YED mean by "generations"? Was Mary one of the Chosen back in the day? Was it passed on to Sam? WHY NOT DEAN TOO, THEN. Just. Oh my god! KRIPKE I HATE YOU.

Speaking of which, Dean getting Andy's "visions"! Alkajsdf;alsdjfk. Fantastic.

Jake was awesome up until the part where he KILLED SAM. Shit. AND ANDY. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! ANDY ANDY ANDY I LOVE YOU GOD WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE. I am so utterly depressed. And Ava! WHY. Why did you have to go evil, Ava? I really genuinely liked you. Augh. AUGH.

OH, OH MAN. That ghost town looks EXACTLY like the town in Resident Evil 4, of which Jensen may get the lead role? I nearly peed myself. Man I love that game.

Andyyyyy. "I just woke up in Frontierland!" and "I was kind of... on my fourth load on my bong." And gay porn! AUGH I LOVED HIM SO MUCH.

So utterly overwhelmed. I want next week here so bad, but I don't, because that's IT until season three, because I have a firm belief that it's going to be renewed. I'm an absolute masochist because I will be watching it over and over and over again tomorrow and crying and hurting and this SHOW you guys. I love it so much it's utterly ridiculous and I don't care.

Comments

[caithream.livejournal.com]

It's just, he's such a HERO and a MARTYR, even when it's NOT about Sam, so, I just, I JUST. Dean you are breaking my heart.

A;aj;lawkejf Silent Hill is so creepy. :(((

WAAAAH BOYYYYS.

[castiel.livejournal.com]

I can't fucking have this much love and this much pain and and this much because my fucking heart cannot take this show. I can't. I can't love something this much, but I do. So much pain and sacrifice and loss and bone-aching love, culminated over the centuries in all sorts of literature and media, but this. fucking. show. I have no words to properly describe why and how, so I won't, and instead just keep on bawling and moaning and wishing like fuck I could at least have someone with me who gets it.

WORD. OKAY. SERIOUSLY, TO ALL OF THAT? JUST COMPLETE AGREEMENT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I CAN LOVE THIS SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH THAT IT HURTS.

Someone suggested the theory that Dean makes a deal with the YED for Sam.

I totally thought the exact same thing while I was listening in on the episode on my cell phone. Because that would SO be something that Dean would do. For Sam, he'd do it.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

HOW IS IT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. THE PERFECT COMBINATION OF ACTORS AND WRITERS AND DIRECTORS AND STORYLINES AND ANGSTING AND WOOBYING AND IT'S JUST. ABSOLUTE. PERFECTION.

He would go to HELL for Sam, so giving up his soul, or SOMETHING, for him would be done at the drop of a hat, absolutely. Everything, this whole bit is going to fuck him up so bad, even more than he already is and I am slowly breaking.

[forgotten-pixie.livejournal.com]

So utterly overwhelmed. I want next week here so bad, but I don't, because that's IT until season three, because I have a firm belief that it's going to be renewed. I'm an absolute masochist because I will be watching it over and over and over again tomorrow and crying and hurting and this SHOW you guys. I love it so much it's utterly ridiculous and I don't care.


OH MY GOSSSSH. I want next week sososo bad but then...it'll be over! But yes, season three is a must.

DEAN. SAAAAAAAAMMY *cries*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I can't BELIEVE it's already over! We were just flailing hardcore over IMTOD!! I NEED THE DVDS NOW UGH.

BOOOYYYYS!! *Collapses*

[whispered-theme.livejournal.com]

Dean's hands. Dean's hands running through Sam's hair, fisting his jacket, cupping Sam's face and telling him it's gonna be okay, I'm gonna take care of you. Protector, even unto death. It hurts so bad I don't even know what to do.



OH MY GOD YES. The tears opened like flood gates right about then. I couldn't take it. It was like every part of me broke into a thousand pieces. And I can't help but think back to when Dean just arrived, and how relieved and overjoyed their faces were as they saw each other, right... before... NOOOOOOooooo!

SERIOUSLY.

The look in Sam's face when he found out the truth about Ava- ouch. And poor poor Andy... why him?

OH DEAN. When the realization hit him that his brother was dying in his arms... it was as if every sorrowful emotion you could experience washed over him- you could see in his eyes that his world was over. SAAAM!

Oh God. I don't know if I can go on.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Yes, YES, Sam's FACE when he saw Dean, oh God. I can't keep watching it, but I DO, and it just hurts so so bad.

I cannot even go on. I just want to crawl into my bed and cry for DAYS. *Clings to you*

[falterfrei.livejournal.com]

I heard the same thing about the deal. But I also heard that season three is going to be highly Dean-centered, so I don't think he's going to die right away.

There will be a loophole, and I'm sure the boys will find it. I mean, they have to... without both of them, the show is OVER.

*pokes* Did you notice I updated? Another chapter on State of Mind, plus a one-shot I was inspired to write on Wednesday during Jeffrey's show. It was a ton of fun to write.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

A;lja;lsdjfaowej OH GOODNESS. I really haven't even thought about S3 storylines, just so overwhelmed with everything happening, now... it's gonna be killer. I know it.

Yee! I'll go over and take a look! ♥

[la-victorienne.livejournal.com]

I TOOK AN AP TEST THIS MORNING. i thought i was going to be all okay and stuff, having been SPOILED for this episode SINCE THE BEGINNING OF APRIL, but not even. not even close. i had a plan: i went home, took a nap, went to work out, and then WINCHESTERS. BUT WTF OH MY GOD AAAAAGH. i swear if sam doesn't come back like i logically know he will i will go down in history as that fangirl who flew to vancouver and waited to kill kripke, i swear. but i got to school this morning and i was told over and over again that it was just a show (because naturally i was still distraught) but all i could do was look them in the face and shake my head because IT IS NOT JUST A FUCKING SHOW. oh my god.

i. just. i can't.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I could not agree with you more. My family's like, "...you do know it's just a show, right?" and I seriously feel like BLUDGEONING someone because it's NOT. The Illiad is not just a bunch of words thrown together, Tchaikovsky did not just make a great number of sounds together, and this show is not just two brothers hunting evil. It's fucking epic, the themes and the symbolism and the character studies and EVERYTHING. It isn't perfection, not in the slightest, but somehow I can't get people, like my family, to think in literary terms and look past what this show is on the surface and dig deep into the love and sacrifice and family that makes this show what it is. I can't force that upon them, so I sit here alone reveling in it. And it hurts.

And yeah, I just cannot even, anymore. *Clings*

[magikalrhiannon.livejournal.com]

OH MAN OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYY!!
*HUGS DEAN SO FUCKING TIGHT*

OMG OMG OMG I'm FREAKING OUT right the fuck NOW!!!!! I literally have tears in my eyes. This is too much! I can't ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*HUGS SARAH TIGHT* Fuck I wish you were here with me watching this.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

WENDY I HAD TEARS AND SNOT STREAMING DOWN MY FACE FOR AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR BECAUSE I AM A BIG WUSSY AND THESE BOYS ARE SERIOUSLY KILLING ME SO BAD I CAN BARELY MANAGE AND I WISH SO BAD I REALLY WAS WATCHING IT WITH YOU BECAUSE WE WOULD CREATE A SCENE. A REALLY BIG SCENE. AND OH MY GOD. *Clings to you!!!!!*

[magikalrhiannon.livejournal.com]

It would be the biggest scene EVA! *CLINGS BACK*

[comically-so.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I'm totally really late to the party, but I just watched it and

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! I just have one big WORD for your whole post. And Dean making a deal for Sammy! OMG HE SO WOULD. And I never even thought about what Dean said at the end of WIAWSNB! OMMMGGGG. THE TOUCHING AND THE HUGGING AND THE CRYING AND OMG DEEEEEEEEEEAN AND SAMMMYYY! Kripke seriously BROKE ME.

Next week is GONNA HURT.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I will not even THINK about next week. I can't. Otherwise I'll go all hyperventilating and in freak out mode, SO, only on Thursday will I finally give in to maybe thinking about it. AUUUUGHHHHH.