(no subject)

[caithream]

Drove home yesterday, first time being back since I moved out.

Cried. Like, a lot.

My first mistake was walking into my empty, echoing room the second I got home, and seeing a rocking chair just sitting there. I don't know. It kind of just... did me in. So I haven't gone back in there. I can't. I'm sleeping in my sister's room since she's in North Carolina right now.

I don't know why exactly I'm so stupidly sentimental, like I'm more emotional than near everyone else on the planet, but it sucks. A lot. I shouldn't be looking around my house late at night thinking this isn't mine anymore, I don't belong to this anymore when I can and do, I can have two at once, I can still belong. It's just... it's a really weird thing when you bring a suitcase full of stuff to live out of back to your own house.

Not to mention the fact that my 6:45 to 12:45 shift yesterday leaned a little more towards the shitty end of the spectrum. The really really dumb thing about this Starbucks (which no one will truly understand unless they work at one themselves) is that the registers are all the way at the front and the bar and the cups for marking are more towards the middle/end of the store. This means that instead of the people on register marking the cups and prepping them with syrups, the person who's on bar has to stop everything they're doing and mark the cups when the person on register calls them out (which happens mostly over the sound of the frappuchino machine going to town or the milk screaming from the steam wand so of course I have to ask to repeat it over and over because I can't hear a goddamn thing) and then can get back to the drinks on hand, except when the cycle starts over two seconds later. It's SO inconvenient and illogical and they threw me on bar for nearly five hours straight yesterday (oh my back, my fucking back) and for a good hour and a half I constantly had about seven drinks in the lineup because I had to stop and mark and prep and then finish what I was doing. It honestly feels like one hand is tied around my back when I'm so used to getting them OUT and done so quick.

It's a stupid complaint, I know, but I still feel like I'm five and want to throw a tantrum because this isn't MY store, it isn't how I'M used to and I don't LIKE IT. I know that I need to roll with the punches and just get used to this, if I can. I have a few other problems with this store - the fact that they sometimes sacrifice the quality of the drink for efficiency and speediness which makes me DIE A LITTLE inside - but hopefully I can change that if I stick around long enough. I don't know.

Today I went over to my old store and God, I miss it so much. Got hugs from the girls there. One thing that I'm REALLY REALLY happy about is the fact that this one old coworker of mine is pretty darn sure that she's going to be moving relatively soon to the same area that I'm now in, and a lot of partners at the store where I'm working now are leaving, so HOPEFULLY HOPFULLY she can transfer over to that store too. Oh God. That would be so great. We could, you know, CHANGE THINGS. And give each other Looks when someone on bar dumps in more foam than milk into a latte. Little things like that would just help me out so much.

In no way do I regret this move or anything like that but, per usual, these kind of things build up and build up until something hits the pressure release, etc etc. Daytime is easier than the night, but tonight I'm going out drinking with all my old coworkers, so that should be fun. Plus I'll be back next weekend for 4th of July festivities, and I'm really really looking forward to that. So yeah. Bottom line is I'm still pitifully and lamely sentimental, but I'm sure things'll get better as the weeks go by.

In other news, SO AWESOME! Sometimes I forget how truly EPIC AND AMAZING the Winchesters are, 'cause this just makes me tingly. And OOH, even though we aren't getting any commentaries on the episodes, we ARE getting "Closer Looks" on a few episodes with Kripke and Sera Gamble and Ben Edlund and all that, so yay! That's better than nothing!

Comments

[flusteredspeech.livejournal.com]

<3333333333333333

Growing up is hard, bb, it's okay.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

So hard. In my throes of angst last night I was clinging to my mom and thinking, why did I leave this? WHY? :( <3333333333

[spazzbot.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Growing up sucks, doesn't it? I remember the first time I went to my Dad's house after they turned my room into a guest bedroom, and gah, it shouldn't hurt but it does. But, it'll get better, I promise. :) And there's nothing wrong with being emotional or sentimental. It might hurt worse when things are sad, but it's so worth it to feel like things really mean something.

Also, I may not work at Starbucks, but uh, I've been to enough to realize that that is a really inefficient setup! There are some in my area set up that way, and they seem even MORE chaotic than the normal coffeeshop chaos I expect, with everyone shouting orders back and forth. And GRR, I hate sacrificing quality for speed! That's something that comes up a lot in my job, and it tends to piss me off. So what if you can do 12 sheet cakes in 20 minutes! If they all look like SHIT, it's not worth the time saved, IMO.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Oh man. :( My parents said that they're planning to make it a guest bedroom of sorts, which I have no problem with, it'll just be a lot weird, like you said. And yeah, that's what my dad said, about being emotional. He said he would rather me be this way then totally apathetic, which is true. Just hurts a lot. :(

For real! It's so MORONIC! And this is a NEWER store. What the hell. AAAGGH YES EFFICIENCY FOR SPEED JUST MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT. Don't have enough milk to fill the cup and don't want to steam more? JUST FILL IT THE REST OF THE WAY WITH WHIPPED CREAM. UUUGGGHH.

[mousewings.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Isn't that a slight bit against quality control rules if they sacrifice quality for speed? Some customers may notice and it can do some damage to the brand. :/

[caithream.livejournal.com]

Eeep, thank you. <3

Yeah, most definitely. I think it's because people aren't aware that it can be made better? From what I've seen so far I feel like this store is a step down in quality, which is weird for me, because I'm so used to my old store. We're number three in the entire state of FLORIDA for customer service, so. :\

[whispered-theme.livejournal.com]

I second Kate. Ugh, one of the hardest things in this life. Oh the woes of change... almost easier to dwell on than the excitement. I remember coming back to my old room on college breaks, and the emptiness HURT. So I totally get it, babe.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I am most definitely trying to dwell on the excitement of FREEDOM (which I do love very much) and all the pros instead of the cons. It's just things like this that strips away all my adulthood and makes me just want to cling to my parents and never let go, sigh. <333333

[idril-telrunya.livejournal.com]

<33333333333333 U BB. Everyone has said everything I would have liked to say. Just know it does get better.

Working at a new place always does suck at first because they always do things differently and it is SOOOO annoying! Just keep on keeping on and bring your concerns to the manager. Maybe they can help change things a little bit.

*hugs*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

<33333333333333 Oh Chrissy. :((

Yeah, ERRG. I'm gonna stick it out for a bit. I mean, I've only had three shifts, so things might change. If it doesn't, I'll see about transferring to a different Starbucks (the one that I wanted to go ORIGINALLY, thank you very much).

(PS 28 WTF WTF HOW IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING??!)

[idril-telrunya.livejournal.com]

Pumpkin! Just...I love you! <333

Yeah I would. I mean even just looking around at different coffee shops around! No reason for you to stay there if you don't have too! Although yeah, I would try that Starbucks you wanted to work at to begin with. Hopefully they won't make you work the craptasic OPENING shift. Yuck.

(I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW! I AM SO EXCITED AND NERVOUS AND BURSTING WITH ANTSYNESS AND EVERYTHING ELSE HOMG! I GOT MY BATTERY FOR THE CAMCORDER BUT NO CAMCORDER YET! WTF?! HAHAHAH GOD! ALSO SHOULD I JUST BOOK THAT HOTEL?!)

[stargazertook.livejournal.com]

<3333333333333333333333333

Aw, sweetie, it'll get better. To quote a more famous Dorothy, there's no place like home. I'll be forty in two years and it still hurts when I visit my mom and then have to leave her again. And the worst is when I'm sick, here in Germany, where the only one who can take care of me is ME, that's when I'm usually missing my mom SO MUCH.

But it'll get better.

*holds, clings, nuzzles*

[fresleyforever.livejournal.com]

*snuggles*

I can't imagine how hard it is for you petal.

♥

I hope it will work out for you.

[hellogloworm.livejournal.com]

ohhh... man. i know how that set up is. andrew's store is like that and it's soooo annoying. glad i don't work there anymore. hey... you're from a store that knows how to treat customers right.. keep doing what you've been doing. it'll make a difference, trust me. i love you so much and i really hope the best for you. hopefully you can get into that other store. and i really hope you'll stop feeling at home though you're away from home.

hey... i have to work on july 4.. till 6:30. i have to miss the best part of the day: food!! :(((

[quidditchkiss.livejournal.com]

Awwww, sweetie. I wish I could hug you. IN REAL LIFE!
*hugs tight*