(no subject)

[caithream]

There are way too many emotions in me right now vying for complete control, so much so that at work I had stop what I was doing and just breathe because my hands were shaking and my mind was moving two steps ahead of my body and the cinder blocks on my chest even now just keep getting tighter and tighter. My brain, even unconsciously, just won't shut up for five minutes and give me some peace without worry and stress and regret and fear and loneliness and anxiousness and excitement all going at it at once. It's going to build and build and build until I break and this is nothing new and I still wish I would have just shut up five minutes ago.

For Mother's Day I got my mom a special edition DVD of To Kill a Mockingbird and she opened it and looked at me like she was gonna cry, and I nearly did; I put on my card, just because I'm moving out doesn't mean you can't be my mommy any more. I mean that so damn much it kills me.

Chrissy, Kate, and Lauren, I'm gonna go ahead and get the EyeCon tickets... if anyone else wants to sit with us, let me know really soon-ish.

Thursday is going to be the bursting of the dam.

Comments

[random-serious.livejournal.com]

There are way too many emotions in me right now vying for complete control,

Ouch, and so on. Change is a big, scary thing, even when it is planned and wanted, so try and be merciful to yourself about feeling all kinds of things at once, and try to remember that equilibrium returns, and everything will seem better and clearer. *hugs*