(no subject)

[caithream]

There are way too many emotions in me right now vying for complete control, so much so that at work I had stop what I was doing and just breathe because my hands were shaking and my mind was moving two steps ahead of my body and the cinder blocks on my chest even now just keep getting tighter and tighter. My brain, even unconsciously, just won't shut up for five minutes and give me some peace without worry and stress and regret and fear and loneliness and anxiousness and excitement all going at it at once. It's going to build and build and build until I break and this is nothing new and I still wish I would have just shut up five minutes ago.

For Mother's Day I got my mom a special edition DVD of To Kill a Mockingbird and she opened it and looked at me like she was gonna cry, and I nearly did; I put on my card, just because I'm moving out doesn't mean you can't be my mommy any more. I mean that so damn much it kills me.

Chrissy, Kate, and Lauren, I'm gonna go ahead and get the EyeCon tickets... if anyone else wants to sit with us, let me know really soon-ish.

Thursday is going to be the bursting of the dam.

Comments

[falterfrei.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It may just be my nursey switch kicking in, but have you ever thought of talking to your doctor about some of this? I mean, seriously, it sounds like how I feel when I have a panic attack, and those are no fun at all. There are a lot of things you can do to help manage them, and medication is just a small part of it. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way and I know that it majorly sucks... you shouldn't have to feel like that.

I really, really wish I could do Eyecon again, but I don't think my bank account would survive another trip like that. Just think of me while you guys are having fun; I'll be with you in spirit!

Thursday is going to be like whoa. I just hope the episode lives up to everyone's expectations. I mean, they've been building up to this for a year now... I'm really hoping it will be the Best Episode Yet. I'm honestly half-dreading it. Oh, Deeeeean.....

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I dunno! It's not like this is a regular thing, it's just... with the stress of moving and saying goodbye to people I've known my WHOLE LIFE and new things and responsibility... it's a lot scarier than I thought. :( I'm sure that once I settle in I'll get better, but for right now I'm probably just going to have to deal. :\

Aww, no! That's totally understandable, though. Wah! WELL, we'll have to make some big goofy video or something so Dor doesn't feel too left out either, hee.

Oh God, yes, I SO hope so. The fact that Eric Kripke is a sadistic bastard and SAID it was going to be a major cliffhanger makes me kind of want to throw up, omg. D: