A loveletter.

[caithream]

So! The beginning.

The year: 1999. My age: 12. The movie: Star Wars, the Phantom Menace.

I know, I know. But this was just setting the stage. I had seen the original Star Wars reboots when they were re-released the year or two prior, and so I really, really ended up liking TPM. We had internet at this point, dial up for sure, and it was at then that I took my, ahem, interests to searching online. You know, kind of like that moment when you're like, "I really really like this tv show/movie/book/etc. I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW." I think I frequented theforce.net a bunch to gather news and other miscellaneous info.

And then? And then I somehow stumbled upon a fanfic website.

I don't think I was necessary looking for it. I had moved to the part of my relationship with this movie that I admitted to myself that I REALLY like Ewan McGregor, so I must've been looking at some Obi-Wan stuff and I found, wait for it... an Obi-Wan/Sabe' fansite. Who the hell is Sabe', you might ask? Apparently Keira Knightly, but also (if you really want to work up the brain power to dredge up the memories of this movie), the Queen's decoy. Secret identity? A slightly forbidden but actually more frowned upon love? Holy shit! My 12/13 year old self was all over that. I remember thinking, "What IS this?? This is WEIRD! They're writing STORIES about ANOTHER STORY. I feel weird! Am I weird? I DON'T EVEN CARE, I WANT IT." And this fic? Maaaan, this fic. It was LONG. It was long and AWESOME. And it was actually very well written.

...I have actually just found again this fic, and it's sequel. Ooh. Hm.

Anyway! It had really good plotiness and h/c and lurve and I think I read it a dozen times, at least. I never ventured much farther than that fic though. I had no idea there were places even outside this one site to further pursue my interests, I think. Still, it was a lovely beginning. :D


Fast forward now to 2001. Ninth grade, 15 years old. For years, my dad had been trying to get me to read Lord of the Rings, because I read anything and everything I could get my hands on. But I refused, until I finally saw the movie that December.

I wouldn't even know how to begin to explain anything. I was totally, absolutely enthralled. It was beautiful and epic and I wanted more. I started, of course, at theonering.net and, of course, read the books. I saw Fellowship in the theater 4 times and eventually became all, tee hee omg Elijah Woods. I must've, I don't know, forgotten all about fanfic, or maybe just thought it would've never applied to something like LotR, because when I stumbled upon it again I was very very much "??!!!!" Then again, the first one I read for LotR was a "10th walker" story on theonering.net, so, you know, SIGH. I jumped right in head first.

The first fandom-y associations with LotR, it pains me to say, was bagendinn.com. Elijah's blue bug eyes and baby face kinda did it for me, so in search of pictures, I found that site, and refreshed it every day for new pics. Also, I thought msallegro was a weirdy mcweirderton.

I went in search for a site for Elijah only. I found Elijah Wood Fan Network. Or, EWFN.

OH what a significant time in history. If only I would have known. EWFN was... probably how you're thinking it was. Meaning there were a lot of Mary Sue fics, ahaha. Also my first introduction to RPF (not slash though, didn't discover that until I branched out some more into the LotR fandom), which made me feel REALLY WEIRD, but I dismissed it, because a lot of the stuff was SO far out into the realm of fiction that it didn't bother me. Plus the whole Mary Sue aspect. SHUTUP I was 15/16! Eventually my main ~*affection*~ moved from Elijah to Dom and Billy, my reasons for such summed up thusly.

But what really made this fandom awesome? Was the people.

I met and still remain very close friends with idril_telrunya, flusteredspeech, stargazertook, falterfrei, magikalrhiannon, whispered_theme and a good handful of others. I mean, I was 16, I'm now 23, and I still know and very much love these people. That's a long time in internet years, haha. It's just so amazing that you never know when you're going to meet someone and become such good friends, internet separating you or no.

As for LotR itself, I cannot tell you how obsessed I was. So. So. Obsessed. Just... the epicness, and how beautiful and heartwrenching and AMAZING everything was. I've read the books a couple of times, like a nerd. I DESPERATELY wanted to go to the tORN Cons and meet the cast and bawww I was too young and too embarrassed to ask my parents to take me. Really, I could go on for a lot longer about how much this fandom/the movies/the books meant to me BUT you're probably bored to tears, so let's just say I loved it. A LOT. MOVING FORWARD!

EXCEPT! Side note: I got a livejournal in 2003, the day after my 16th birthday, actually. When LJ was still making you find a code from someone in order to create one, haha. Also, was actually online and present during the Crystal Gamgee wank and actually made comments on the post that it was brought to light in, ahaha.


I resisting reading Harry Potter for a long time. For no other reason than because I was annoyed that everyone was READING IT. But, being the voracious reader that I am, I HAD TO GIVE IN. I can't remember exactly when I starting reading the books. 2004, I think. Junior year, 17 years old. I got sucked in and never looked back. Which was good timing, because Return of the King came out in 2003 and I was languishing.

Those books. My God, you guys. Not like I need to explain how awesome they are; jumped headfirst into the HP fandom too. My time in the fandom was pretty low-key, honestly. I mostly read and wrote fic (one of which I still get comments on, haha) and stayed on the outer fringes. I found and absolutely adored the Shoebox Project. My main ship of choice was James/Lily, with some Harry/Ginny on the side. That was the extent of my fandomness for HP, really.


I had a brief fling with Superman: Returns in 2006, because Brandon Routh is freaking hot.


But. 2006. Sophomore year of college. 19. flusteredspeech and others on my flist going blahblahblah over this stupid show on the WB that I refused to watch because it was on the WB until I finally gave in because apparently I'm a pushover like that.

I started downloading Supernatural just after season 1 finished. I wasn't too impressed to begin with. I thought the pilot was cheesy as hell. At Faith I did a major eyebrow raise and continued watching with a bit more gusto. Nightmare was amaaaazing because Sam had powers!! and that delighted me. But it wasn't until Dead Man's Blood, Salvation, and Devil's Trap that I completely flipped my shit. At the very end of Devil's Trap I literally got up and walked around ~SHAKING AND CRYING~ because wtf WTF that ending still gives me chills. And then it was a long-ass summer until the premiere of season 2.

I wouldn't even begin to explain my relationship with the SPN fandom, mostly because it's still happening. Four years this month, and I'll still be here. The love of this show and fandom is on par with my time with the LotR fandom, I think, maybe even more. I hope I'm still in this fandom for years to come, because despite all the stupid shit that goes down, I love it more than anything.

So even though I'm pretty freaking monogamous when it comes to different fandoms, I love them intensely. Not to mention all the amazing people I've met. I mean, I've gone on a bunch of roadtrips with some, moved across the state and lived with others, gone to Cons both fan run and official with, and on and on. It's amazing. Also, I've never officially stated but... I don't do slash. I KNOW RIGHT. You can all run to go defriend me now. But don't, because ilu. I'm just a special snowflake, okay.

SO THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE CONDENSED VERSION, LOL. If you actually read it, congratulations, and I hope you enjoyed. Haha.



Back in the real world, going to work tomorrow again is depressing me. I'd like to complain about my job, because sometimes it makes me pretty freaking miserable, but I feel like I shouldn't because I have a job and should be grateful, etc etc. NYC in 10 days is making things look pretty shiny, however. :D!