(no subject)

[caithream]

Today I:

- went to work at 5am
- muddled through Chaucer
- uploaded this Alec icon (the lack of really good Dark Angel icons is upsetting, you guys)
- had the bipolar cat attack me AGAIN >:(
- talked to my adviser
- applied for Fall 2009 graduation



:D


(Also also Dorothy, I'm 50 pages in! Omg I love it! I keep forgetting that I'm, you know, trying to help you edit it! ;D)

Comments

[gestaltrose.livejournal.com]

*loves*

[caithream.livejournal.com]

<3333 :D

[mousewings.livejournal.com]

Eeek at bipolar cat!

We have strange birds. One of them doesn't seem to like people despite being with us for over a year.

[caithream.livejournal.com]

I think he thinks he's playing! But he's not! IT HURTS. D:

I had a lovebird for a couple years when I was in middle school and she wasn't very nice half the time. :\ I still loved her bunches though, aww.

[stargazertook.livejournal.com]

Ack, bipolar cat attacks! *karate stance*

Yay! I'm so glad you're reading it (and loving it!) I've already made some changes to what you have, but in essence the story is still there ... if you get to the end and have the feeling something's missing, it's because there is. Kate and Wendy pointed out that I left a lot of questions unanswered, but yesterday I wrote a chapter that will get nudged in right before the last chapter. Also, Kate said my climax felt a bit rushed, so I'm adding to it. Just FYI. Heehee, yay! Keep reading! mwah!

[caithream.livejournal.com]

For reals! I had the spray bottle with me today, ha.

I FINISHED IIIIT! Omg DOOOOOR, HOLY COW, I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Yesterday I was at a family outing and was kind of glancing at the clock to see when I could leave to come back and finish it, hee! Ooh, yes, okay, a little bit more on the ending would be lovely! Towards the end there was a little bit more exposition than what I like, so I don't know if that's what you had stretched out. Around chapter 30, I mean. Somehow I've ALWAYS had my creative writing teacher's favorite phrase, "Show don't tell, show don't tell," stuck in my head, so maybe that's just me, heh. Ummm, let me think. On page 206 (though, hm, that might be different now, if you've added some stuff), this paragraph:

Seeing her and fearing the look in her eyes, the crowd parted, not knowing what to expect. Lizatora glared at her human rival, the woman who stole her love from her, and attempted to carry out the spell. The king had only a moments notice before Lizatora struck.

... in the last sentence I think it should be "moment's."

And just after chapter 28 starts, there's the sentence "She could almost hear the remorse in his eyes," which sounds a little bit funky to me. Maybe hear the remorse in his body language? In his silence, even?

Um um um. There was one more little bitty typo that I can no longer find, but it was something like you had put "by" instead of "my" or something. I'll keep on looking, heh. I think my only other comment would be that maybe the dialogue could be a little bit more colloquial? Though it IS Britain and especially kids in wealthy schools like that are supposed to speak like that (though excellent job with all the "darlings" and "loves" and all the Brit-speak, I met a couple girls from England they did talk like that which I found ADORABLE, hee!), but there were a few instances where I thought it sounded a bit too formal and dialogue-y instead of what I would normally hear out of a 16-year-old's mouth, you know? Though you pretty much nailed Megan's voice, omg, I thought you were describing and letting my own SISTER speak, haha!

SO YES. I'm so glad I got a chance to finish it! I really can't wait to see more of this from you! Alsoooo, if you want, I can screen or completely delete this post after you receive this as an email so it's not just floating out in the internet, you know, or whatever! Let me know! YAAAAY DOR GO YOU! <33333333

[stargazertook.livejournal.com]

Yaaay, I'm glad you finished it and I'm glad you liked it, and I'm super glad for your input!

Okay, I've written down your notes and I'll work on it. I'll try to loosen up the dialogue with the kids a bit - I was actually thinking that Luci was going to say something about it since she's a young Brit, but she didn't say a word, hmm. I have a couple of British friends here, and they're both teachers, so I'll ask one of them to take a look, especially at the dialogue, and have them give me input on that.

You don't have to screen it. It's not too revealing and maybe it will catch the eye of some of your flist and they might buy my book one day, hee!

Thank you so much! *hugs* <33333333