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Well. I threw up again last night. Whoopee. That makes... twice this month? Or just once? I don't know. Paranioa (I'm just flat out calling it that) seemed to be at it's all time high last night and today. Last night I was just... thinking again, and I got sick, and didn't get to bed until midnight. Then today during History my heart was just absolutely going crazy. It did it like, 5 times right after each other. It totally freaked me out. It always seems to be worse after lunch. I have no idea why. So today I came home and slept from 3 'til 5 again. I was so terribly confused when I woke up. I thought it was morning. I was irritated, heh. So I hardly ate anything for dinner (that seems to be happening as well... my appetite has decreased somewhat dramatically... not that I really mind) and I still felt sick. I felt so depressed and paranoid. Do you know how freaking paranoid I am? Because of me being ill, I thought that I either have mono or leukemia. I'm so pathetic. So after studying for about an hour for my Algebra II exam (which I'm going to fail anyway... bah) and moping and fretting about I decide to go on a walk with my parents. It helped a bit. I told them what I was thinking and feeling and it kinda reduced my stress a bit. If this "problem" with my heart continues after exams and school gets out (because I'm thinking that's what's causing it) then we might set up an appointment with the doctor. It's better to know that be paranoid, right? Well, that's all fine and dandy but what if there is something wrong? No, no. I must think positive. That's what's dragging me down. I'm thinking about all the bad things that could happen and not the good. Maybe I need a phyciatrist (sp?). Hm. But I'm feeling a lot better right now. Why? There's a good reason...
In the shower, I wanted to think of something that would make me laugh. I thought back to today.
There are two people in this world who, whenever they laugh, I have to laugh as well because their laugh is just so danged funny.
1. Mark. I love this kid. He will make me laugh whenever I'm feeling sad. His laugh is just so incredibly funny... he can be laughing about the stupidest thing and it won't matter. I'll laugh because he's laughing. I'm just in tears and turning purple when around him. Ahaha. So much fun. I told him once that I will fall for any guy who calls me his "bonny lass" so now that's what he calls me. <3 <3 <3 He's not the best looking guy there was but that means nothing to me. I see right through it. He is my sexy-beast-rawr-ho. *Glee*
2. My mom. Her laugh is so funny. Sometimes she watches that show called America's Home Videos (or something like that) and she laughs so hard. I just can't help laughing as well. It just makes me so happy to see her laughing through all this. I love her so much.
So, yes. I feel much better now. I'm off to bed.
In the shower, I wanted to think of something that would make me laugh. I thought back to today.
There are two people in this world who, whenever they laugh, I have to laugh as well because their laugh is just so danged funny.
1. Mark. I love this kid. He will make me laugh whenever I'm feeling sad. His laugh is just so incredibly funny... he can be laughing about the stupidest thing and it won't matter. I'll laugh because he's laughing. I'm just in tears and turning purple when around him. Ahaha. So much fun. I told him once that I will fall for any guy who calls me his "bonny lass" so now that's what he calls me. <3 <3 <3 He's not the best looking guy there was but that means nothing to me. I see right through it. He is my sexy-beast-rawr-ho. *Glee*
2. My mom. Her laugh is so funny. Sometimes she watches that show called America's Home Videos (or something like that) and she laughs so hard. I just can't help laughing as well. It just makes me so happy to see her laughing through all this. I love her so much.
So, yes. I feel much better now. I'm off to bed.